I am entering a new chapter in my life. This journey I must not fail, for it will be the reason I live. This quest will contain all the virtues that define my character. In times of fear, doubt, and the arrival of adversity I must not waiver from my convection. When I chose to indulge in this calling my beliefs will not fail me. They shall raise me beyond the bonds of ordinary men and catapult me to a new and few found contentment for life. My valor as a man will not be tarnished and my strength shall echo my ancestry. If I hold this vision true and allow no circumstance or fear to claim my heart than my dream shall prevail and I shall vest in the light of purpose.
In my mind I venture to another world where only knowledge bares key to the misguided delusions of grandeur only I believe, but divine innate intuitive faith is often hard to see. It is all I have. In my journey I beg of you find the insanity that sets yourselves free. Witness my wrath for it will only quiet your cries. Hold my hart for it bets for thee. Wipe my tears for I to cry. Forgive my sins for I to will die, and remember my face for I to shall rise.
I have told no one this in my days, however I have masked it a thousand fold in my craft, but that craft now wears thin and substitutions have become harder to find. The course of my life I have never questioned or held regret. I trust God has determined I bare this burden. I have this day found a peace with that and choose to walk to his hands.
I once wrote upon reflection of the innate, external, and overwhelming force that calls my ear in the night; I can not go there, because if I do I am never coming back. I now realize if I don’t go there I am never coming back.
I believe God is everything and Jesus is the face he gave us. I believe that face has never left us and need only be awoken. I in my cause echo this by the divine grace laid upon my life. I need now to prepare the world. Hearts of humanity have faded and my strokes must now bring color to their reason.
Delusions of grandeur continually haunt my mind now and from my first memories. My dreams are my future. I can not count the times I have woke from dream to life. Every significant moment of my life I recall a dream to warrant my claim. I will indulge in the aspect of dream in words to come, but for now I continue. In distant thought I know peoples feelings apart from their being. I can look into the eyes and know the soul of a man without rebuttal. The manner for which I see inside a person is frightening.
There is no curse inside of me, though I have often deemed it the curse of creativity. It is merely camouflage that hides the burden of purpose. It is a curse of the calling. In my most quiet times I do believe I hear spirits, not in words but intuition. I have held these conversations with those I have lost and those I am yet to recognize. Dear to my thoughts they still live. Their bodies once a prison have passed and now free to fly their souls endure death. They have taught me even in death we have reason and purpose.
People from my first memories have been drawn to me for purpose or advice regardless of our relationship. Sometimes I have only known them for a few seconds. Everything I have asked God to do for someone other than myself he has in life or death. I am cautious of this gift and hold it very gentle for I await it to leave.
Those I have learned to be the closest to God some coming and others going have been the flaw to my reason, the hesitation to my cause. When I was young I was afraid to touch a baby or the ill for fear that they may truly see me or discover my beliefs. In time the realities of those thoughts do still linger. I wondered if those times where when I was asked to choose to accept a different calling. I believe we are giving different paths to choose and that our free will allows us to choose our purpose. I now and since then have seen other choices to make. Though the birth of my son has made me mortal, I do hold truth that if left alone with someone close to death or injured in life, anyone in need I can comfort them and heal their pain in many ways. I do not feel I can prevent death, it is not my place, and only when god asks am I warranted to use these gifts.
It is written that the Arc Angel Gabriel in the womb tells us all we need to know to carry on to heaven after death, and then he places his finger over our lips creating an indentation that quiets our memories till we pass from this life. I believe he in my case he did not hold my lips long enough for memories are my greatest strength and for as much as they haunt me they heal me and protect me a thousand fold. I am often drawn to the soul of others as they end their days in the womb of life and prepare to be born to something new. I can not fight the feeling that I must touch them. Most times it is done unnoticeable to others, but if it is not done I feel a guilt which is beyond any pain I have ever known in a human form. I believe that my touch takes the finger of Gabriel away from their lips early enough for them to find peace with those around them and give them peace. I do not know exactly what this effort brings to them, but I have seen their faces and know that it is done and I am free of the burden and full of joy. My grandmother was the only time I neglected my intuition and as she died on the day of my birth. I understood it to be the echo of God reiterating to me to not deny him. I was fifteen I am now thirty, half my life has passed and that guilt I can not let go. I fear that though angels need to fly I am keeping her soul from being free and hope to one day let go of her.
When my son was born I could see her in his eyes. I wondered if she told his soul goodbye. I felt that night her tears of joy and thought in the window to see her fly, but my guilt still arose again. I feel as my daughter is to be born that either I have kept her long enough that she shall rise again or that I will find reason in her eyes to forgive myself and know that my grandmother, someone I have loved like no other was reason to my purpose and fulfilled hers. I know she forgives me for I have talked to her.
Before the birth of my son I did make a choice. I chose love in a wife with the virtues envied by most Christians. It is her where my faith became truth. I have battled evil many times in my life, giving in at times, but in the end I saw the evil and realized I needed to know it to prevent it. The same is true with many things I have endured. I have faced the acceptance of death three times in my life. I now hold no fear to die. I hold no fear period. Whether it was the acceptance of death or the blind faith I hold I am now incapable of fear. I do know caution, but I continue believing I am on the path of purpose and now that I have accepted that path it is determined and I have peace with that. The only way to truly now life is to live it by your intuition. As we explore the Soul of Life you will find a reoccurring theme. In order to not be reborn by demand, but by choice we must die not wanting. If in the end of your life you would ask God to be reborn to live this life again, and that would be your heaven than it is inconceivable to think you have not fulfilled your heart and trusted God’s cause. Do not make false claim for it is impossible to hide your inner truth. I do not have any questions of faith for I do not need them I simply know my purpose and though I am thirty I can honestly say I could think of no place or life greater than what I know live, and if I were to wake here for eternity I would be content.
In this philosophy is another attribute that comes with trust in intuition. It is that I also do not grieve. I do now sadness and I feel hurt, but I shall never feel anger or guilt for I know I shall see them again. Not now, but it is inevitable that one moment I will find their faces looking upon me. There is one flaw to this belief and that is a child or evil and though God does not make mistakes the free will we possess does and actions made by some on behalf of that will warrants great anger, but solace must be found in the trust that their souls will find peace. Free will is our greatest curse and most generous reward of life. It can and does determine the destiny of our beings. I will explore this in pages to come.
I have in the quiet corners of my mind, confused with what God was asking of me, asked if I was the second coming. You must understand that the calling to move man is so strong inside of me that I needed to ask. I close my eyes and in seconds can witness the history of Christianity in a way that I feel I have seen it all and the eyes I look through and the moments I feel are mine from another time. I do not recall this from my schooling, I recall this innately beyond reason I just know what is and what is not truth. The Soul of Life is my innate understanding of my visions and knowledge given to me through intuition and faith, and they are explained without reference. I have not received an answer to my question, I believe their may have been a time in my life, perhaps in those early days of fear when I was asked to make that choice. My free will choose not to and from that point I have made another choice to trust that in time I shall be unraveled and defined by others after are during my time here. It does not matter to me much for God shall know my face and he shall calm my curiosity in time. Never knowing failure since my peace with purpose allows me to say I will not fail in my endeavor to do my work.
The only thing I know for sure is that my free will deemed to me by God allows me to choose many paths. In the end I hold these beliefs; a husband, father, son, brother, friend, artist of many crafts, devote, content, and to continue would fill a page for they are attributes of any man, if those men so choose. I know my entire life I have created from my intuition and that yearning I have felt from before birth. So to what I am about to create there is a message in the following pages I ask you read until you have received it. I do not know failure, so I know I will not fail you now.
Heaven is different to all of us. To some of us it is our visions, our dreams, but for the most pure of hearts it is to be reborn again to live their lives. As we travel through the infinite Soul of Life those who hold this contentment true shall rise to the heavens and dictate the life of their soul. Do not allow your selves to imitate men, be men to be imitated. Live your lives boldly answering your hearts desire, your minds reasoning, and most importantly your soul’s intuition. This is your purpose and your are its reason do not deny yourselves of this for it will haunt you for eternity.
The Soul of Life
The Soul of Life is a cyclical journey represented by six phases the first four described by three titles. The first title represents the phases spiritual purpose the second title represents the phases connection to the earth and the third title represents the phases most dominate trait in the soul’s journey. The last two phases are beyond the body and are represented by two titles. 1. Birth, Spring, To Learn. 2. Young Adult, Summer, To Dream. 3. Adulthood, Fall, To Accomplish. 4. Death, Winter, To Teach. 5. Transition, To Be Judged and if warranted Choice. Here our purpose in death shall be determined or ours to choose. 6. Rebirth, To Forget. This is an infinite cycle. From the creation of our existence we are given the chance to never enter the cycle if in the end we choose to not come back, but most everyone enters with out choice because their purpose has been found wanting. This cycle can only be broken when heaven is reached through the wish to repeat the current cycle at death. This has to be the inner contentment of ones soul at death with no reservation or regret. To be aware of this truth requires the absence of vanity and pride and those are often the hardest traits to disguise. For in the Winter of our life is the prime and the birth of new life truly reveals our hearts and we are forced to evaluate the impact we have made to the cycle and though our small cycle may seem unnoticeable the infinite continuum of the human race has been impacted. If we do not find purpose than our era of teaching will not be achieved, for we will have died while never living the summer of our lives. It often takes the soul many lifetimes to even escape the temptation to live in the world of summer. One only need find peace with his purpose and satisfaction in his achievements. It is not a hard question to answer the owner of any particular soul is truly the only judge, but what a battle rages when we must be honest with ourselves.
Birth is not necessarily our beginning first we must be created. This is done by one of two methods.
Written Anonymously
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